I am my experiences, my parents, my relationships, I am a culmination of my entire life crammed into my skull and embedded in my brain. Growing up, I was cared for, I had friends and hobbies. I had favorite movies and music. Over time these friends and interests have changed and I have left some behind. Every single one of these things is still a part of me. The building blocks of my identity. From every tear of happiness to hopelessness, every fight and every bit of love, I have retained all that I have learned and felt. Growing up in the suburban domestic incubator sheltered me from the real wild world outside of my fenced yard and foam rubber on all sharp corners in the house. Toy Story was played endlessly, I really thought Sid was the greatest. That movie led me to experiment with my own destruction and creation of toys. It was great. Along with the endless viewings of Toy Story, the Indiana Jones trilogy influenced me greatly as a kid. I had a grandiose sense of adventure and wanted to explore the world, to this day I still express that yearning for the adventure of a lifetime. I never wanted to do things on schedule or follow rules, ughhhh rules. This led me to become interested in skateboarding. Skateboarding allowed me to do what I wanted when I wanted and how I wanted, there was no waiting for my turn to play, there were no rules, and I was able to explore my surroundings with my skateboard. Concrete feels wonderful, except when it’s ripping your skin apart. My identity has come to be, because of the influences from the skateboarding community, music that I’m into, and who I have had relationships with. I am everything, I am my life.
I’m interested in how my identity and views will affect my research. It’s exciting. Will my sense of adventure and yearning to escape have a negative impact on dealing with people who are stuck for possibly the rest of their lives? Should I ask other commuters if they feel stuck or want to adventure one day? The rigors and schedule of commuting between home, work, and school becomes extremely stressful. I wonder if I’ll be able go keep up with this project as it eats me alive.
